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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I Love You, You Love...((BLAM, BLAM))

The top ten warning signs that you've been spending too much time watching educational programming with your kids:

10. You catch yourself humming or singing the theme song to Dragon Tales even when your child isn't watching the show.

9. You start writing stories in which you happily slaughter large, purple dinosaurs.

8. You start writing such stories, and you find them uproariously funny.

7. You start believing that there's a real Dora, and the show Dora the Explorer is all part of her vivid imagination. (Boots is actually Marcel the Monkey from the first season of Friends. Chico the squirrel is the love-child of Sherlock, the pink squirrel from The Magic Garden and a woman who looks frighteningly close to Charo circa 1973.)

6. The only way you stay on top of the music scene today is through the guest stars singing on Sesame Street.

5. You have to coax your toddler to sit through the end of Bear in the Big Blue House because you love "The Goodbye Song."

4. You find it a topic of discussion that all of the animals, and most of the inanimate objects, on Blue's Clues can talk, except for the dogs.

3. You eagerly awaited Noggin's week-long music special, and you were bitterly disappointed to learn that it was the same half-hour segment repeating all week.

2. Between the Lions is funnier and wittier than most sitcoms on network television.

And the Number 1 warning sign that you've been spending too much time watching educational programming with your kids:

1. You start having sexual dreams about Anthony from The Wiggles.

Book Buzz of the Day
Books? I'm too busy watching educational programming with my kids...


At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

too funny. i love your wit.
now, off to shut the tv off.
"i love you, you love me"

At 10:18 AM, Anonymous KimH said...

You can have Anthony, but Captain Feathersword is MINE!

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Jackie said...

Kim, it's the sword, ain't it? Kinda like a huge French tickler...

God, did I actually just post that?


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