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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Nooo! My Eyes!

My eyes hurt. Me, I'm blaming a bestselling author for it.

No, not the reason you're probably thinking. It's not eyestrain from reading way, way, waywayway past my bedtime because the book was Just That Good.

It's from all the damn eye rolling.

By page 9, I'd rolled my eyes more than ten times. The last three times were within a one-minute period.

And it wasn't from the HORRIFIC typos -- two -- that I'd caught so far (one was a punctuation slip, which I can forgive; the other, on page 3, was a stupid misspelling that even a brain-dead flea should have noticed).

It was from how damn unsympathetic the main character was. And by page 9, I officially had enough. So I skipped to the last chapter, learned how the book ends, and I realized that while I wasted an obscene amount of money buying this book (even a dollar would have been too much for it, it my most humble opinion) I was happy that now I won't be wasting an obscene amount of time suffering through the story.

My eyes are thanking me.

Moving on. Currently reading Cornelia Read's gripping A FIELD OF DARKNESS. Worlds better than the Unnamed Horror That Hurt My Eyes. Some of the lines are utterly brilliant. I can't wait to start quoting them to my friends.

14 Comments:

At 11:12 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

Monkey, who ever said anything about playing fair? :-) I write about demons, after all...

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger Heather Brewer said...

Ugh. I HATE plunking down cash for a book that doesn't pan out.

And I've noticed I'm even pickier about books now--how about you, Jax? Now that HELL'S BELLES is fit to make a splash, now that you know what works and what doesn't, do you question more author's methods? Like "Why on earth did they use four points of view? It could've been told in two!" and "What's with all the telling? SHOW, already!"

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Jackie said...

I hear that, Heather. I try, try, try not to rewrite the stories in my brain as I read them, but yeah, totally. I'm reading one paranormal romance right now (not Cornelia's book -- that's a nice, thick read, and this one's more like fluff) and I keep thinking, But WHY are they having sex NOW? THE BAD GUYS ARE RIGHT BEHIND THEM! And let's not even get into the poor transitions from the sex scenes to the actual plot ((shivers))...

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Michelle Rowen said...

Gee... I wonder what book you're talking about. Hmmm. I think I'm reading it too (in hardcover) even though I said I wouldn't. But I am. My eyes hurt too. Lordy.

 
At 1:26 PM, Blogger Stacia D. Kelly said...

When I'm annoyed with an author, I've been known to pitch the book across the room in sheer frustration. *sighs* Glad I'm not the only one who gets annoyed.

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

Mich, I ain't telling. But if your book had a glaring typo on page 3, then yep, that would be the same hardcover that I am now using as a doorstop.

Sybir, you're far from alone. I usually have to read through a book, no matter how annoyed I get. This is one of the few times that I stopped out of sheer disgust.

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Heather Brewer said...

"But WHY are they having sex NOW? THE BAD GUYS ARE RIGHT BEHIND THEM!"

LOL!!! Yeah, no doubt! It marvels me how several authors forget the all-important question. Why? When in doubt with writing, ask yourself why. It hasn't steered me wrong *gulp* yet.

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger Ewoh Nairb said...

I've been sloughing my way through a tome by Neal Stephenson... one of my favorite authors. I hate to admit it, but I am just not enjoying the book. It is not as tight as his other books... it wanters, it has a lot of junk in it that just doesn't seem to move the story forward. I have to say I am about ready to just give up on this one. I have only ever done that twice before... maybe three times.

I like to think that every book has something to say, something to give the reader... a gift. It may be in the beauty of the prose, or it may be in the brilliance of the story and plot, or it may be in the message behind the story. But there is something in just about every book that will redeem it.

This one is making me work too damn hard to find it. That, and it is just not that interesting a read.

Now if I just had something to read by those other favorite authors of mine... Jackie, Heather, Sybir... I might be a happy little reader :)

Guess I'm just going to have to wait for a bit. Maybe I can re-read some Neil Gaiman...

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger Michelle Rowen said...

I couldn't find a typo on page 3. Just a lot of ardeur. ;-) Then again, glaring typos in books do not necessarily mean that the author didn't proofread it. I will not tell you how I know this. *blinks*

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

Heather, it definitely hasn't steered you wrong!

Ewoh, I so hear you! I tried, really tried, reading the last Thomas Covenant book by Stephen Donaldson. I actually made it all the way through...but holy cats, did I loathe reading that book. Gah. And ((cough)) once my webpage is up, you'll get the first chapter of HELL'S BELLES. :-*

Mich, I have NO idea what you're referring to... ((wink)) And check again. See if you spot "callling." There are typos...and then there are typos.

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Heather Brewer said...

Michelle *blinks* but you're perfection on two legs...you'd never have any typos. Must be the gremlins. ;)

Ewoh, be patient! (heh, I can dish advice out, all right...) January isn't too far off and August is...well, August is an ETERNITY AWAY.

 
At 11:29 PM, Blogger Michelle Rowen said...

Damn gremlins. That must be it.

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Michelle Rowen said...

*checks page 3 again*

Ah, yess, I see the typo nnow.

Hell, I'm still going to finish reading it. I can't look away. It's like a car crash. ;-)

 
At 4:25 AM, Blogger Jackie said...

Mich, you'e a brave woman. Hope you enjoy...

 

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