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Monday, February 26, 2007


The inimitable Shar has tagged me. Granted, she tagged me about a month ago, and I'm first now saying "Wha--?" Sigh. Got to get me one of those Stop Time remote controls so I can get everything I need to do done, sort of on time.

And so...Ten Random Weird Things About Me.

1. I used to crush on Christian Slater. Seriously. I drew a fan letter comic book for him. Mailed it to him. The rat bastard never acknowledged it. Maybe Winona stole it.

2. Foods can touch, sort of. While I have no problems eating a PB&J, I simply can't eat a bite of chicken, followed by a bite of veggie, followed by more chicken, then a bit of potato, and back to the chicken again. Nope. When I eat, I eat one part of my meal completely (say, that damn chicken), then move on to the next part (the veggie, as long as it's not gross, like beets), etc. I have no idea why I do this.

3. I hate wearing turtlenecks, and I won't wear a choker necklace. Maybe it stems from the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck when I was born. Maybe I have a weird imagination. But I always feel like I can't breathe when I'm wearing turtlenecks--so I stretch out the neck. Kind of defeats the purpose of that sort of shirt, but hey, I'm willing to break with tradition...

4. I'm horribly shy. Meeting people for the first time makes me very nervous. I seriously considered bringing a barf bucket with me when I went to the Backspace Conference last year. (I didn't -- bring a bucket or barf. Yay, me!) I'm trying to get over this, especially now that I'm training to be a World Famous Author (TM) and am doing some speaking thingies, like appearing on a panel at Backspace, getting interviewed on a college radio station, giving workshops...But I say this now: the only way you'll ever see me in Playboy is if one of my short stories gets published in it. My willingness to get past being shy goes only so far.

5. Once I had a naughty dream about Anthony Wiggle. It wasn't my fault. I was asleep. See, this goes to prove that watching too much educational television is bad, bad, bad! Oh no, I feel a song coming up...

Anthony Wiggle, yummy yummy...

6. I have a slightly sibilant S when I speak. Maybe that's not the correct term. But when I tell my friends that Hell's Belles is about "sex, strippers and demons," it comes out "sex, shtrippers and demons." This really hit home when the other day, Tax Deduction the Elder informed me that his underwear had "shtreaks" in it. I said, "No, honey. Not "shtreaks." Shtreaks." Of course, he looked at me like I was insane. (Hey, you would be too if you had to wash undies that had you-know-what stains...excuse me, STREAKS. (And yes, I gave this adorable characteristic to Jezebel. It'll pop up in a future Hell book. Maybe.)

7. I met Simon Le Bon, and it wasn't good. When I was a sophomore in college, Duran Duran came to Tower Records to do signings. A couple friends and I went. I used to seriously fantasize about John Taylor, so how could I stay away? After waiting on line for hours on a frigid November Saturday (gads, you'd think these blokes were superstars...), we got in. Went upstairs. Saw The Men Themselves. Simon was there, along with Nick Rhodes. And, er, someone else. Blanking on who. Anyway, when it was my turn to present them with something to sign, I said, "I didn't bring anything. I just wanted to see if you guys were real." So Simon reached over, grabbed my gloved hand (frigid November, remember?) and pumped it. Then he said, "You'll never wash that glove again!" And he chortled at this display of wit. True enough, I never washed that glove again. (Or ever before, but don't tell Simon.)

8. I used to play Dungeons & Dragons. A lot. Like, four times a week. Active roleplay. Once I even LARPed. Mrs. Giggles totally outed me. Sigh. Those were good times. Sometimes we opted for Marvels' RPG. Once, we had to tell the GM why we wanted to be either a good guy or a bad guy. I said I wanted to play a bay guy so I could pounce the stupid good guys into dust, then spit on the dust. The GM lurved my answer. (Huh. No wonder I write about demons.)

9. I drink my coffee black, no sugar. I used to drink it light and sweet. But during midterms, freshman year of college, we ran out of milk at about 2 am during one cramming session. Since then, no milk in my coffee. The sugar dropped out during one of my "Ooh, a new diet" phases. Every once in a while, I'll treat myself to a vanilla latte. Other than that...black, no sugar.

10. Francis Ford Coppola stole my pen. Really. On my honeymoon. Loving Husband and I were in Napa, doing a wine tour. At Niebaum Coppola Vineyards, the man himself was on site. So I bought the debut issue of Zoetrope and asked him to sign it, giving him my lucky pen. He did. And then he pocketed the pen. The rat bastard. At least he didn't have an attitude, like Simon Le Bon.


Okay. And now I hereby tag...Heather, Richelle, Caitlin, Elaine, Jaci, Michelle, Colleen, Michele, Shannon, and Zinnia. Because I'm evil.


At 3:22 PM, Blogger ec said...

Jackie, it's not "shtreaks," it's "shkid marks."

Mother of two males,

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

Elaine, I can make the "sk" sound (as far as I know) without a problem. Other than, you know, having to deal with said shtreaks, shkids, or what have you.

Ain't motherhood grand? :-)

At 4:09 PM, Blogger ec said...

Uh-huh. Wait until your Tax Deductions are 6'5" and the splash-backs are of sufficient force to require periodic repainting of the bathroom ceilings. Some days, it's like someone had a water-balloon fight in there.

And being male, they don't notice.


At 4:17 PM, Blogger Suzette said...

LMAO! This is what I have to look forward to with 8yr old son...thanks. As for Simon...I loved John Taylor way better.

At 7:11 AM, Blogger December Quinn said...

Oh, man, I must have watched Heathers every day, sometimes twice a day, for like two years. I saw Pump up the Volume four times the first week it was out.

I even owned Gleaming the Cube, ffs.

That's how seriously I adored and worshipped the Slater.


At 9:22 AM, Blogger Demon Hunter said...

Simon LeBon...LOL! I bet he would not even try to say that today! LOL. Where is Duran, Duran anyway? That was too funny, Jackie. I won't share whom I used to adore. *weg*

At 8:26 AM, Blogger Tempest Knight said...

OMG! A naughty dream of a wiggle? *rofl*


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